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WORRYWART

by Raeann Fetcho

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1.
Humane 01:58
Through glass I see them talking louder, but not brighter Learned not to struggle 'cause it makes the ropes get tighter I can't throw feathers at the monsters in the tarpit But I must throw irises at the golden feet of the holy hypocrite Here's cotton for your ears so I can rip my tape off They said to carry a big stick and keep your voice soft But I'm dizzy from crawling 'round the circles you all talk in Drowned in a swimming pool of Hemmingways, artists, and politicians I guess I'm too small to waste your time arguing with Why does your truth make you tall, while mine makes me a stupid kid? I guess it's alright to laugh at what makes me cry Plastic socialites lined up to hit a bullseye Go practice recitation of statistics you've heard And take your picture dressing up as self-righteous and cultured Paint me a foolish girl- unworthy, naive, unskilled How are you dressed as moral royalty to watch my friends get killed? I guess I'm too small to waste your time arguing with Why does your truth make you tall, while mine makes me a stupid kid? I guess it's alright to laugh at what makes me cry Plastic socialites lined up to hit a bullseye
2.
Sea Glass 01:24
I've watered down my poison since the first of our four winters Sanded down my jagged edges 'cause I used to give you splinters Yes, I've watered down my poison, painted my black bottles blue And now I love it when you drink me, still I worry it'll kill you You're too cool for me and my toxicity Here on the wrong end of the bourgeoisie I love you endlessly, I'll drag you down with me I'm your deadweight, but I don't want to be Have I really gotten better since I caused you all that trouble? Or am I blind to my bad parts from inside this stupid bubble? Have I really gotten better? 'cause I'm getting deja vu So now I love it when you love me, still I worry it'll kill you You're too cool for me and my toxicity Here on the wrong end of the bourgeoisie I love you endlessly, I'll drag you down with me You're my tunnel's light; you shouldn't need to be
3.
Daisy 02:47
That thing in my chest sometimes softens the sound Of the lies I tell myself when I lay my head down Like if you keep it off paper then that means it ain't true Like the poems I'd have written, had I been allowed to Mom says, "Sleeping with a cellphone on your mattress gives you cancer" I tell her, "I gotta keep it there, so I can answer if you ever call" I think too much or I don't at all Ooo or I don't at all Could you still love someone after you've seen their bad sides? Could you still love someone after you've seen them cry? I'll wonder these things as I mark down the hours And I'll wonder these things 'til I'm pushing up wildflowers Mom says, "Sleeping with a cellphone on your mattress gives you cancer" I tell her, "I gotta keep it there, so I can answer if you ever call" I care too much or I don't at all Ooo or I don't at all
4.
Peachy 02:39
I'll be your favorite wet blanket If you be what makes me all anxious When you do something dangerous I'm pacing around I guess I was unprepared But aren't I lucky to be scared? You be the scariest joyride And I'll be that thorn stuck in your side To try to keep alive When I'm stumbling around And everything's blurry Do you feel lucky to be worried? I'll be your favorite wet blanket If you be what makes me all anxious When you do something dangerous I'm pacing around I guess I was unprepared But aren't I lucky to be scared?
5.
Put the eggshells that you walk on when around me in the garden, 'cause it's supposed to keep out pests Like the ones crawling in my stomach, pulling ropes and pressing buttons 'til it's tight inside my chest I hear you Hypomania Is probably not fun from your perspective either I must be a vampire 'Cause I suck your energy out clean And I can't see my reflection in the mirror I'm sorry I'm here I wonder if you ever mind The way I take things when they aren't mine, like a backwords holiday I guess to make my own sky colorful, I turned yours a muddy gray I hear you Paranoia Is probably not fun from your perspective either I must be a vampire 'Cause I suck your energy out clean And I can't see my reflection in the mirror I'm sorry
6.
Glass delusions You said my words were stones and sticks to you Disillusioned I never meant to turn anybody's skin blue Blue, blue They said I'm too nice to people I shouldn't be They said these people don't deserve my sympathy But you said it's like I'm pulling wings off insects So I tried to build them back up I played architect Fake dimension I froze all my water trying to fix you Fair intentions You got bruised by what I didn't know that I threw Threw, threw They said I'm too nice to people I shouldn't be They said these people don't deserve good company But you said it's like I'm pulling wings off insects So I tried to build you back up I played architect They said I'm too nice to people I shouldn't be They said I'm too nice to people I shouldn't be They said I'm too nice to people I shouldn't be
7.
I think I'm my own target What's up, God? It's me, Margaret I'm not sure what repentance implies Two stops 'til I'm a martyr I wonder which is darker- My baggage or what's under my eyes Now I'm looking through the ceiling My legs are bruised from kneeling Confession in a bathroom stall I'll leave for Orange County Before they stuff and mount me Above the fireplace on the wall I'm talking loud; I don't think he heard But I can't stop now; I'm a worrywart So you can hold me down 'til they call me divine But I won't sleep 'til I know we're alright I'll disrupt our momentum And overstay my welcome People find peice in a holy creed I'll fix myself some hot tea Convinced you don't still want me I'm chanting to myself in the streets The freaks who tried to bite me Are splattered on the concrete Grab all the kings horses and men Hey, welcome to the gun show I'll break a stained glass window And try to put it together again and again And I'm talking loud; I don't think he heard But I can't stop now; I'm a worrywart So you can hold me down 'til they call me divine But I won't sleep 'til I know we're alright

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released August 7, 2020

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Raeann Fetcho Fairfield, Connecticut

"wow, you're still upset about that?"
-anyone who has ever listened to any song i've ever written ever

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